Friday, June 3, 2011

surprise visitation and some maybe news

lil’ man is off at visitation today…

i can’t help but think of him as i sit at work… right now mr e is picking him up from daycare and loading him up in the car

does he realize this means he gets to see mommy and daddy…

are mommy and daddy going to bring the pictures i asked for so we can set up frames and albums so we can talk and process that they are his parents and he will see them again?

mr e did a surprise visit yesterday, i happened to be home prepping the house for Bee’s graduation dinner… would have normally been at bible study.

bubba was sleeping.

talked w/ mr e for a while.

grandma is looking to get custody.

smile, sigh…

that is a GOOD thing… but i am sad… sad that this sad 2 yr old will be what i remember – working hard to get the giggles and smiles – but it is HARD… but life is HARD and doing what HE asks is what is HARD… HARD is worth it.

i should be doing lesson plans…

not researching duffel bags to pack his things in… but my fingers type the websites in and i find myself obsessing over quality and size and price… what’s the best deal…

it’s not 100% yet, gma has to get her home study approved. but mr e said IF it’s approved they are hoping by June 20.

2 weeks.

half the time he’s been with us…

i’ve known in my heart he wasn’t to stay with us, that he isn’t meant for us… but i’ve gotten used to his chubby face and clear blue eyes… i’ve wanted to see the smiles, i’ve ached for him as i do now wondering what he is thinking and what is going through his sweet lil’ head…

i hope this will be the best – i pray GOD watches over him… i pray for wisdom in how to make this transition easy


  1. I cried as I read this. It's a happy-sad thing. Prayin for God's will and for your endurance, courage, and peace.

  2. Praying along with you. I hope visitation went well, praying he can be comforted as I know it was hard on him last time. Love.