Sunday, November 25, 2012

No news=good news????????????

Haven't heard from bear parents since Wednesday. 4 days no biggie. But no thanksgiving text. I sent them one. No response to a text on Black Friday (saw a deal on something they need) praying no news is good.

Also feeling guilty about how much I love the peace and quiet and easier travel of 1 child.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

CLOUD 9

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

better than dark chocolate, better than a good margarita or a glass of red wine.. better than that fabulous feeling right before you drift off to sleep...

holding my sweet little man...

got a surprise phone call today... turns out kids have been sick for a week and parents have been stressed out

mom called asking for help... hard for her

as a precaution - i won't give cash... but asked her what they needed... drove it out... had planned on dropping off stuff at the door and leaving (didn't think they would be home)...

parents called as i was getting ready to leave - they told momma bear that i was there and they wanted me to wait...

she ran up grinning ear to ear - Auntie M Auntie M... big hugs... sweet happy girl...

then their Mommy came around from the van... and he saw me - my sweet baby bear - he practically leaped out of her arms to see me... Mommy smiled at his eagerness... she handed him to me and he snuggled in right to his spot... that spot every small child has on the ones they love... he snuggled in... then perked up - looked at me as if to check it was really me and snuggled in again.

we went inside and i spent 20 minutes hugging babies... sweet momma bear asked after bee...  baby bear even let me sit down as he snuggled on me (usually he would want down if you sat down)... i put him down to see him toddle around... so sweet... he would toddle away and then come back and lay his head on my lap...

then i got out of their hair so kids could do their routines for bedtime...

parents were so awesome - thanking me over and over again... but not in a weird way... just right...

i can't even begin to explain how wonderful i feel - the worry is relieved - also found out some of the info we had was flawed - parents doing well...

so thankful :)


Sunday, November 18, 2012

One week

Since I have gotten a picture. 5 days since a text. Worrying

Privacy

One of the hardest things about fostering is maintaining confidentiality. Esp when it impacts us. Having issues now where things are rough. Putting on happy face, answering questions as best I can. I didn't do as well with keeping info quiet and regretted it. Not everyone understands the ins and outs of addiction or the trials of poverty.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

New torture

Cute baby same age as bear ahead of me in long line. Cooing just like him. Ugh

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Dollar store

Stopped to pick up school stuff

Somehow everything reminded me of the babies and how they won't be with us for the holidays.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I will respect their choice

Very bummed. Not seeing babies THIS weekend. 3 more weeks. Don't know why. It's cool.

Desperately missing the baby.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

How things are different

How are things different?

The time it takes to get in the van with one 6 year old is vastly shorter than the time it takes with 3 children!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

maybe...

might get to see the babies in a week...

maybe...

hoping it's the right choice... hubster worried it might make it worse for us... thinking it will be best for them...

cannot wait to hug and kiss them...

it's our first weekend without them and not 1000 other things to do... at home... cleaning, organizing and feeling their absence in a new way

Thursday, November 8, 2012

So much for the do not call list

Got a call today for a newborn. So glad it went to voicemail. Hard to say no but I know it's for the best

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

missing little things

Heaven is a sweetmaple syrup kiss. And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.

love love this song...

when i would drop off the babies i would put them in their little seats at daycare and ping-pong kissing them back and forth... they would be sticky from their waffles and syrup that chef hubby would have packed them for breakfast...

missing them more and more as time goes on...

helps that i've been getting random picture texts saying hi and love you but still --- just want to HOLD them...

Monday, November 5, 2012

well technically you can kiss my grits

have been meaning to post and time is flying by - somehow more busy with only one child (we are out of the house as much as possible)

last tues was parent teacher conference and had an interesting conversation with my son's new weekly pull out teacher... i was trying to let her know he was grieving the kids leaving - and she kept saying stuff about how it would be hard for him to adjust to kids as an only child

ONLY CHILD?!?!?! i'm sorry - i didn't realize someone who has had TWO siblings for over 16 months would be considered an ONLY CHILD (forget the fact that he had a little bro for a month and a half before that....)

i was grumbling about it the next day at work and the psychology (PSYCHOLOGY) teacher looked at me and said - well he is TECHNICALLY an only child...

my response was... no - not really... even his therapist has said he is not an only child...

erg

erg

erg

technically my @$$