feeling failure in the little things

i know i'm a good momma...

but sometimes it takes something small to make you feel like a complete failure.

my son bee has a little stuffed dog... imaginatively named brown dog...

here's brown dog hitching a ride recently (so glad i snapped this shot)

well... brown dog has gone seriously missing... as in i was a schmo and let bee take him to the family time share in sebastian

**1st rule broken - let the durn dog leave the house!

i even ignored the little voice that said "hey! don't let that thing out of the house" but i figured i was being over-protective... sigh

then momma bear kept messing w/ it when we were at the time share and i fussed at bee to put it away in a safe place.

at one point my boy cousins were taking out the garbage and i thought... i should stop them and look through the garbage - sigh...

i have a sneaking suspension momma bear may have thrown in in the garbage and it is long gone... it breaks my heart

i know it's just a stupid stuffed dog, but it's his baby... when he is upset it's what comforts him...

when bubba left, when baby frog died... he cried and cuddled w/ brown dog...

i feel like i've failed him, i can't stop thinking about it... doubt i will get any sleep tonight - the family is packing up the time share tomorrow and if it will be found - that is when. i'm actually nauseaus

i've looked it up on the internet - $95... can't do that... don't know if i want to buy/get a replacement anyway - part of me does b/c of how much bee loves brown dog, but don't know what that teaches him about keeping track of belongings and/or what it teaches about "replacing" what we love by buying things

praying he is found...