torn

this blog is hard to do

trying to give a peek into life as a pph-hyster survivor foster parent... and respect privacy of children and parents

at this moment i am torn in half...

at the beginning we were told parent Y was all the hope the kids had... that parent X had messed up and wouldn't come through...

then a few months in parent Y started slipping... for all of 48 hours my heart pitterpattered with fear and excitement.... the likelihood of adoption in my throat...

then parent X turned out to be a new person (praise GOD)... and adoption was put on the back shelf... glad, but sad

now... parent Y has truly messed up, talks of TPR (termination of parental rights)...

that means if parent X hadn't stepped up... we would be talking and preparing for adoption

i don't know how to feel...

part of me is ridiculously sad... part of me is relieved... part of me feels guilty for being relieved... then the guilt of feeling guilty...

still praying daily for the success of parent X... please join with me!