Monday, March 12, 2012

grouchy...

feeling hypocritical...

want to see biodad and yell at him

praying for grace

praying for ability to forgive...

some may think he "deserves" my b#$*chy thoughts... even if he does - what do i deserve????

as a believer i know what i deserve and what i've been given...

not through my power, but through HIS love and forgiveness

i said mean and nasty things about biodad tonight to my hubby... i want to lash out... but i speak of forgiveness, of modeling christ's love to those who need it...

but in my heart... i'm pissed and i think he's worthless... ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

fighting it... praying for him more earnestly

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