Sunday, June 27, 2010

Lessons I've Learned

1 Thessalonians 5
16Rejoice always; 17pray without ceasing; 18in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Verse 18 is difficult for me - to give thanks in everything (some translations say in all circumstances, whatever happens, etc.)

I should be thankful for my loss, hard to do - but w/ the readings I've been doing lately (Crazy Love, Francis Chan) if I BELIEVE - THEN I SHOULD DO WHAT HE SAYS...

So, yesterday was the anniversary of my "alive" date. The day I almost died. The day of my hysterectomy and my life was truly altered. Why should I be grateful this occurred? What has come of this? It's only been four years, so I am sure that I will see more and more later in life, but for now

- a few things I am grateful to have learned...

38. the meaning of James 4:14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

- a verse I have often heard, the idea that we are not guaranteed tomorrow - there is the cerebral knowledge and the heart knowledge... we never know... have things right with all all the time - for we never know
39. tragedies/traumas/dramas/ are not comparable
- too often life is a competition of "woe is me" - "if you think you have it bad..." that mind set is foolish, grief is grief - end statement, no qualifiers.
40. I can survive (not just physically - but mentally)
- i remember thinking that i could never survive something so horrid as a hysterectomy (actually a few nights before his birth i was overcome by that exact fear - not prophetic - my normal morbid self) i have learned i can survive what i thought was impossible
41. enjoy what you have, do not focus on the grief of what is lost
- while i do believe grief must be processed, FOCUSING on that grief would rob us of joy - i was so focused on B after the first week or so... reminding myself that i had this gorgeous child, that i was to be the best momma possible to him, if i had overly focused on the loss, i would have been suffering a double whammy - losing not only the "dream babies" but his babyhood.

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