Wednesday, October 3, 2012

So how are you doing???

with reunification close to happening ----- i get this question often

better and worse than i thought...

not a complete mess all the time but sad.... just sad... alot.... almost all the time... and grouchy

i want to soak in every moment with my babies.... but at the same time i absolutely cannot stand momma bear...

like a typical almost 3 year old she is confused... so f*&*ng confused.

she gets home from her weekend visit and pushes me away - won't snuggle or hug... she doesn't want to play with me

but within 24 hours when i get her out of bed she is hugging me so tight --- and then within an hour she ends up pushing me away again... it's hard it's so hurtful - it's exhausting

just before getting in the car most mornings i have to fuss at her for something --- so most drives to drop her and baby bear of at daycare - she screams and cries the WHOLE way... HALF AN HOUR

packing up their stuff is good b/c it gets me ready and gets stuff out of the house - but is so depressing...

sometimes i feel as if this is more than i can take --- but i know HE is using this to bring me closer to HIM - couldn't do it otherwise

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