while it's never quite said that way, when i talk with some people about writing letters to the bio-fam, or setting up routines with the kids that i hope the bio-fam will continue, or the slim potential for staying connected after reunification... there is an underlying implication in some people's responses as to "WHY BOTHER"????
when i mention that the children will most likely be leaving soon... some people react as if it is a travesty of justice... why should they get them back???
sweet people have said things like they must be so grateful and thinking that the biofam must fall over themselves in gratitude... most of the time biofams DON'T... we are lucky in that biomom in particular voices and has written how blessed she feels to have us...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
yesterday as my mind wandered in processed in church (re. this post), i was actually listening to the pastor...
the sermon was on Paul and how the man who was the greatest missionary called himself the worst of sinners...
my mind went somewhere else then the pastor intended... but i began to think of how hypocritical we are as christians (often the people i speak to who think the parents shouldn't be given such chances... are christian - or at least wear the label)... i see a lot of bio-fam bashing in some online support groups...
paul... was saul...
saul was the chief persecutor... GOD met him... GOD changed him... and he became one of the framers of the faith
why do people want to cut off child abusers/neglecters so quickly... yes it's a heinous crime.. (i am NOT going to discuss molestation in this post!)
but seriously - many times the abuse/neglect is not born out of an evil desire to hurt children... but out of ignorance, addiction, lack of education, lack of intelligence, poor support structures, etc.
how many of us have been at the end of the rope with our own children... and looked at our spouse and said i need to be alone... now... or have had that babysitter, grandparent, neighbor we could pull ourselves together and ask to watch the kids for an hour while we run errands? or even been able to pull up a blog or website during nap/bedtime and read that we aren't alone, that other people feel stressed.... read about ideas or techniques on how to handle it the next time around?
why are we so quick to dismiss that the bio-parent can change???
maybe losing their children this time (i know many are repeat offenders) has been the time GOD has met them... GOD has ripped them from their path of bad decisions and shown them where to be... maybe i am a tool of GOD --- maybe you are a tool of GOD...
someone to walk on that path with them and encourage them in small ways... to model choices in parenting...
small things like writing letters, sending pictures, sitting with them prior to court and talking about the kids, SMILING at them, shaking their hands, saying it's a pleasure to meet/see you... treating them with respect and honor...
maybe it won't work... it's hard... it's exhausting... but it's what is best for the kids... and it's what HE would have us do...
when i mention that the children will most likely be leaving soon... some people react as if it is a travesty of justice... why should they get them back???
sweet people have said things like they must be so grateful and thinking that the biofam must fall over themselves in gratitude... most of the time biofams DON'T... we are lucky in that biomom in particular voices and has written how blessed she feels to have us...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
yesterday as my mind wandered in processed in church (re. this post), i was actually listening to the pastor...
the sermon was on Paul and how the man who was the greatest missionary called himself the worst of sinners...
my mind went somewhere else then the pastor intended... but i began to think of how hypocritical we are as christians (often the people i speak to who think the parents shouldn't be given such chances... are christian - or at least wear the label)... i see a lot of bio-fam bashing in some online support groups...
paul... was saul...
saul was the chief persecutor... GOD met him... GOD changed him... and he became one of the framers of the faith
why do people want to cut off child abusers/neglecters so quickly... yes it's a heinous crime.. (i am NOT going to discuss molestation in this post!)
but seriously - many times the abuse/neglect is not born out of an evil desire to hurt children... but out of ignorance, addiction, lack of education, lack of intelligence, poor support structures, etc.
how many of us have been at the end of the rope with our own children... and looked at our spouse and said i need to be alone... now... or have had that babysitter, grandparent, neighbor we could pull ourselves together and ask to watch the kids for an hour while we run errands? or even been able to pull up a blog or website during nap/bedtime and read that we aren't alone, that other people feel stressed.... read about ideas or techniques on how to handle it the next time around?
why are we so quick to dismiss that the bio-parent can change???
maybe losing their children this time (i know many are repeat offenders) has been the time GOD has met them... GOD has ripped them from their path of bad decisions and shown them where to be... maybe i am a tool of GOD --- maybe you are a tool of GOD...
someone to walk on that path with them and encourage them in small ways... to model choices in parenting...
small things like writing letters, sending pictures, sitting with them prior to court and talking about the kids, SMILING at them, shaking their hands, saying it's a pleasure to meet/see you... treating them with respect and honor...
maybe it won't work... it's hard... it's exhausting... but it's what is best for the kids... and it's what HE would have us do...
No comments:
Post a Comment