Wednesday, July 25, 2012

trying to draw near when feeling so far

today started out so great...

a fabulous massage to work out some serious knots i have in my shoulders after 1+ year of this crazy journey... and i know this sounds weird - but i felt so close to God during the massage... i found myself truly thanking him for the ability to have the experience, for the random groupon deal, for the masseuse's talent, etc...

a good rest...

a new back up babysitter coming by the house to get help filling out the crazy paperwork (it didn't scare her away!)

and then - it all went to hell in a handbasket...

i started feeling icky (sore throat going around house... hoping to shake it soon) so i laid down to rest...

my 6 year old bee kept coming to ask me questions... at one point i told him to go find his friends and play outside (poor choice on my part... i should have been up watching them outside).

i decided to go outside to check on him ... and he was in his underwear... (he had been doing messy art earlier)

he is SIX.

he has been told constantly that he needs shorts on around the other kids...

i lost it...

he has consequences out the ears... but that spurred from him losing it...

he will freak and outright lie --- i wasn't even outside... etc. at one point he asked when daddy would be home (he was sent to his room until daddy got home) i said 15 minutes.. he repeated 15 minutes... and then started screaming he didn't want to wait 15 HOURS...

that is something he does often... he will take a time we have stated and change it (after repeating the correct time).

we fight our way through dinner...

sitting to do our devotional - and it's on if we ask GOD to draw near HE will, etc etc...

in the midst of kids crying, of a child being disrespectful during Bible reading...

so hard...

it was painful to read about HIM drawing NEAR when i felt so in the flesh and not near...

praying for peace and comfort...


2 comments:

  1. I have been there:( So hard. Praying for wisdom, rest, and His peace.

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