Sunday, July 8, 2012

lost on the trail...

while on our awesome bear-free vacation... we went on a "15 minute" hike that ended up being 3 hours long.

today, during church... my mind wandered and processed as it always does... and it hit me how our foster care experience has been so much like that hike.

the descent was fast and steep... and once we were down we had to continue... because the way back was too rough. after bubba went home we dived in to caring for two under two years. that was a quick trip to crazy busy, crazy ridiculous. 

While we are supposed to stay on a marked trail, the marks are sometimes hard to find... we occasionally ran across others who could give advice and words of encouragement... but they were few and far between. 

There was the very real possibility of being hurt. (See the copperhead?!?!?!)

 The big picture we know is what matters, the view. We are doing something worthwhile... something important... something bigger than ourselves.
But even in the moments of feeling panicky and worried... there are moments of absolute beauty... no matter how twisted.  

Small moments that continue through the worry of where are we on this path? What is around the next bend?

At one point a part of the crew went ahead... wondering what the other half was doing... how they were progressing... 

How much longer will this be? How will this end?

At one point on the path a friend pointed out we hadn't STOPPED and prayed... we just kept plugging along... but in my head... i had been crying out to God... please keep us safe please don't let us be lost... so often we get comments of... wow... you are so strong, I COULD NEVER DO THAT... what they don't see is the heartbreak... the crying out to GOD... please care for these babies, please keep them safe... handing them over in trust to HIM...

But even in those moments of crying out in fear.... stopping to look at the beauty along the way... experiencing the joy in the moment...

In the end... our path will be outlined like a clear map... we will be able to measure the days, weeks, months, just over a year of having these babies with us... but like the hike... we won't see the map until the end.

It's so odd to think that the end is so close... yet just like that day on the hike... how close, we don't know... and just like that day... CONSTANT PRAYER, TRUST, FAITH, AND DEEP BREATHING is the way to survive...

1 comment:

  1. Oops, put my comment about this post on another! I love this post, such a great comparison. Praying for a smooth transition and peace for all of you.