Apparently last week was an orientation...
This week the grand total of attendees was 14.
Quite a few of last weeks people are gone... including a interracial couple and a single black woman. I had really hoped they would stick around. I have read so much about how % of African American children in foster care is higher than the % in the general population. I will love any child and do my best. But... i know that my life experience has not prepared me to raise a child who may face racial discrimination, teasing, etc. I have been voraciously reading any blog I can find... and keep meaning to purchase books on the topic (to read when I don't know!)
Also not present was a couple who really seemed to have teenagers on their hearts. They spoke a bit about their faith and how they felt God was leading them to foster. I really hope there was a conflict in schedules and they return. They had asked some odd questions (like can we blood test kids for illnesses) but truly seemed to have the kids' interests at heart.
On the other hand, the woman who kept asking questions that were not "nice" about birth families is gone, as is the woman who was possibly intoxicated. While I would love to see the class chock-ful of people, I already feel protective and want only the best for these kids.
There were 2 new couples (yeah!) and a new single woman (but unfortunately i overheard a convo after class and sounds like something STUPID will keep her from being able to do it - she and the teacher were upset... teacher is going to see if there is a loophole or something). The new couples seem awesome. One of the couples includes a social worker who is looking at a specific group of 3 siblings!!!!! The other set seem like an awesome couple - man is a deputy... I was paired up w/ him for a get to know you activity. I asked if he has ever removed kids - yup.
We spoke about WHY kids are in foster care. There is a guy, who seems nice and will be great, who added if a parent has died. I asked if that happens often - quick answer - NO. What I thought....
then i heard the statistic 70%. 70% of foster kids have been sexually abused. 70%. my stomach hurts. i feel a bit nauseous.
as my dad has said when he gives people tours of the shelter and is speaking about the need to support the organization. you can ALMOST understand someone losing it once or twice with their kid and using too rough of physical punishment. those people have hope of rehabilitation. HOW HOW HOW HOW can someone f**k their own kid? HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW can someone find pleasure? power?
my babies, my babies... that's all i can think about.
Most kids aren't removed for sexual abuse. but often once they are in care, it comes out.
We talked about looking at behaviors and what feelings and emotions come about.
They used a couple of specific example behaviors, which I cannot use here. CONFIDENTIALITY. officially... it will be a struggle for me but i can do it! One behavior (that is not case specific) is chronic, public masturbation as a sign of sexual abuse. This is of course in the case of young children (prepubescent). Since I worked in the shelter, I was not surprised, dear hubby though, had not heard of this.
The activities were great, and really focused us on what to expect.
A surprise at the end of class ---- our first home study will be scheduled soon --- and it will be in the next couple of weeks! ohhhhh crud.... sooo.... ciao as I begin the deep cleaning of our home!