He hears

Yesterday,  I went shopping with my sister. We hit Old Navy and I humored myself and looked around at baby stuff. I was thinking how cute a particular onesie was... it had something to do with loving mommy (not quite this one, but this idea).

All of a sudden a tidal wave of grief overwhelmed me... would we put shirts like this on our next child??? As a foster parent, do we have our kids' rock these outfits? Would this shirt above mean the child was MY favorite gift or the birthmother's? Then the implications of not having one's child at the holidays... even if through their own shortfallings...

I was overwhelmed in that moment and practically ran from the infant section. My heart breaking and eyes wet. My sweet sissy came out of the dressing room and I shortly told her I was having a moment and why, and we left the store after quickly making our purchases.

I came home to our crib being delivered by our sweet friend and was able to put that moment out of my mind.

Later I was surfing the web and stumbled on a foster parent forum and some foster parent articles. I read an article (found here http://foster-care.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/why-do-your-foster-children-call-you-mom).

I had to stop and read it, this paragraph was as if God was whispering to my bruised heart.

When that child leaves us they know that we love them. Whether a month or a year, you have made a huge difference in their life. Most of these children have never seen or been part a normal family. To call you Mom and Dad gives them a sense of belonging, security, peace, being loved, part of a family, and acceptance.

I also read the comments, this comment was a continuation of God showing me he had seen my pain

thmccarty says:


December 13, 2006 at 9:18 pm

I am an adult foster/adoptee. I called all of my foster parents mom and dad. It made it easier on me. I felt like I belonged to that family even if it was for a short while

So while I haven't decided about the shirts, the truth is, it doesn't matter. I will be their momma and my hubby their daddy, even if it is not forever.