a teeny tiny step

Emailed the head of the foster program yesterday

I asked for information for the next class --- i stated that we are hoping to accept our first placement in May.

Also, I asked if there would be any issues with the fact that I am the child of one of the Founding Board members. I wanted to be sure that it wouldn't become an issue of accused nepotism later on down the road.

I had really hoped that I would hear back quickly. No information so far. My parent has said that it wouldn't be an issue --- but I want to hear it from the officials.

It's not quite like peeing on the stick, but I feel like I am on a long ride to buy the stick.

I'm nervous they will tell me that I can't train through the group that I want to train with because of my family's history of working with the organization. I am nervous that they'll tell me that we should've started months ago and we won't get a placement in May (or at all during the summer). I am nervous will get through the training and they'll find some reason to tell us we don't qualify. I am nervous that Bee will not adjust to new children in our home. I am nervous I won't adjust to more kids. I am nervous that our hearts will be broken time and time again as children are in and out of our home. I am nervous... I just want to start this process. We have prayed about this for 4 years.

When I woke up after Bee's birth, we both knew exactly what our next step would be. I feel like we have been on pause for a few years and it's driving me bonkers!