God's symmetry

Today as we complete our homestudy... half away around the world another family is picking up their daughter in Ethiopia.

We were told today that we will be cleared for licensing in about 14 days or so... when the same family above mentioned will be given an adoption party.

I am amazed at how God works.

A family I have grown to love will expand and so will we...

It's amazing how God works for children near and far. How his timing lines up in our small church...

I am overwhelmed and amazed.

Brave or Stupid... Trusting

Why are you fostering? I hate this question... especially when it is accompanied by the tone that we are nuts or the slight implication that it would be for some self serving purpose.

I shared in our large Bible Study group Friday night that it is difficult for me. I am often asked this question (in the negative sense) by "christians" or nonbelievers. They then list the problems of the system, why they would never do it, etc.

Please don't get me wrong, I do NOT think that every family is called to foster. We all have a calling to reach out to the world, and there is only so much we can each do.

Often they refer to why it wouldn't work for them. Putting themselves FIRST. This is not what we are called to do as imitators of Christ. Following bible study, a fellow member of my group, Ping-Pong Man, responded to my statement of how others have been unsupportive of our decision to follow the path of foster. He said something to the effect that he doesn't question our sanity or motives, but admires us for our bravery. I love it! (not that I think of us as "brave"). He expressed the root of so many peoples meaning behind their list of reasons and questions. The fear of loving someone who will be taken from you. The fear of seeing the pain of the world, the evil that is out there. The fear of rejection, the fear of the unknown, the fear of opening your home for the world to critique and "evaluate".

I don't see ourselves as brave... we aren't able to do this (or begin the process) without trusting and faith. I am so scared right now, are we ready, who will this child(ren) be, how will our life change.... i take a deep breath and TRUST... HE knows, HE will guide us, HE will do this.

Ping-Pong also mentioned what a wonderful model of forgiveness this will be for Bee. As we work with these families to help them reunify, we will be a model of forgiveness for our bio-son, our peanuts, and their families.

Models of forgiveness of Christ.

PANIC

deep breath - trust

Can we be that model? through prayer and reliance on HIM who controls all, we will......

deep breath - trust

HOME STUDY #1 - and surprise!

oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness...

so...

home study wasn't as scary as i thought it would be - she spent the majority of the time chillin w/ us in the living room asking basic questions
 - why foster care?
 - going through a list of characteristics of children and having us rank - preferrable, acceptable, will consider, and would not consider

towards the middle (or maybe end) she let us know that her goal is to have us licensed by the end of march.

AS IN THE END OF THIS MONTH

---- it's been 3 days and it still hasn't quite sunk in... babies before Easter... hmmmm....

feelings are - PANIC, fear, second guessing, excitement, terror, awe, confusion

with all the research i had done - this was not what we expected.

now i am reminding myself her goal - the ideal, MAY not be reality.

we really thought May more towards June.

wow.

we may get kids before Bee's bed from Rooms 2 Go gets delivered (next day delivery my tushie)

Needless to say, dear hubby is having to go into hyper drive trying to finish the addition stuff... and i see the self doubt in him arise. can he physically do this? can he really put the framing of the last door up... as i saw him panic over the room, i realize he is just as freaked out as i am, but being slightly less verbal... it's interesting to see him express this, greatful the Father whispered in my ear so I could pull back and let him freak out and be supportive.

babies, toddlers, lil' ones... are we ready? i think so, i know so, but just as a momma panics in the last months of preggieness, the same questions are popping up for me...

well - time to go keep up the clean house!

****Funniest event of the home visit -> Bee walking around showing Miss Ray that the rooms "aren't dirty anymore"

oy!

I'm Still Here!

So... I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, and yes we are still becoming Foster Parents.

We are stuck in the minutia of the process.

Just shy of a week ago, I sat down to check my email after a LONG weekend of breaking down rooms and steam cleaning carpets. The house was absolutely trashed --- everything from the 3 bedrooms was piled ontop of beds, in the living room... just a mess. In addition - I decided we should pull everything out of storage since we pulled out the crib to do the recall process. Everything is about 10 big boxes of baby clothes, blankets, etc.

And that is when I saw the email from our case manager... she would be at our house on Tuesday, March 1.

POOP. We have spent the past week cleaning, organizing, throwing stuff away (gasp), etc.

I took a day off of work, my parents entertained Bee all day Saturday, and hubbie will be taking Tuesday off to do the final touches.

I'm exhausted.

As I look around I think the same thing I always do... man we need to stay on top of it this time... our house ain't half that bad!

(oy!)

I feel esp. convicted as I have been reading some great blogs about the ministry of hospitality. Another great one by my friend... she got to guest blog...

So... small world who reads this... thanks for the prayers and keep them coming.

I can't believe in less than 48 hours our first home study will occur!

Failure?

As I prepare for MAPP class tomorrow, topic - behavior, the news catches my eye.

A child has been killed by her adoptive family, not to far from where I live. By now the news has spread, and many are aware.

My mind is reeling and I am still processing. How did this happen? How did these people sit through the same classes I sit through, hear and see what I have heard and STILL DECIDE to do this?

We have had people "selected out" (not return b/c they are deemed not ready). They haven't told us this out right - but I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

Where is the failure?

Praying for everyone involved at this point, especially the children and the workers involved.

the idol of sleep and sloth

Exodus 20:
2 I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery;

3 Do not have any other gods before me.
4 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me,
6 but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.


So... what does this has to do with sleep??? The sin of sloth... it is my constant battle... I would rather nap, or lay on the couch, etc. than work.... how does this reflect as a sin and idol??? When I can not get the things done that need to be done to serve Christ. When I allow sleep to replace Christ and work for HIM... it has become an idol and something I worship.

I AM NOT SAYING it's WORKS THAT SAVES... but Christ calls us to action. And it's hard to act when sleeping...

I felt especially convicted of this sin as I read a friend's blog To Show Them Jesus.
A great post that reminded me that even w/ our small space (which will be a little bigger soon) we can be hosptitable. I need to focus on getting the house somewhat presentable (so kids can play) and keep it up. Our home is a great location for church friends b/c it's VERY close!
 
Thanks Vixen for the great post!

shoulda, coulda, woulda

kicking myself... hard

i had heard there were FEW things you could do prior to becoming a foster parent and taking the courses...

but... remember that l-a-z-y genetic disorder i just complained about??????

yup... didn't do it...

SO... what SHOULD we have gotten done in advance (as in the month or two prior to classes)

1. getting animals' shots updated

2. infant and child CPR/First Aid classes

they aren't huge... but with a schedule already packed to the gills... had to cancel out on my bible study group in order to take the animals (cat and dog) to the vet...

wasn't as bad as i thought it would be... then on the way home... cat pee'ed. yuck yuck yuck. it STUNK to high heaven.

the other twist in the schedules... WHEN will we attend a 3 night class??? oy vey! i have a feeling it'll have to wait until the end of the MAPP course -> hopefully it won't prolong our license!