Monday, April 9, 2012

"it's not right"

bears' dad was at the visit we had to take kids to on thurs.

we hadn't realized he was available for visits... had just been made available an hour or two prior to visit...

more to come on the experience as a whole later...

what has stuck with me is a comment he made...

that it wasn't right for foster parents to "force" kids to call them mom and dad

momma bear calls me momma/mommy

we tried HARD when they first moved in to have her call us auntie and uncle.

no go

several things...

1. she has limited verbal skills
2. i've heard of kids her age call their TEACHERS mom
3. she hears our son call us mom and dad
4. the child has been with us for 9 months

i'm trying to understand how he must feel... but seriously... it pisses me off

i AM her momma for now she needs to feel normal and call people mommy and daddy...

there are other hateful type thoughts (mainly about his ability to parent and his qualifications to be called daddy)... praying for grace and love towards their father... it must hurt to hear your child call someone ELSE momma or daddy... for any reason...


  1. Oh, how hard. I have had various people call me 'mom' over the years, for a variety of reasons. My students are some of them. My daughter inadvertently calls me by her teacher's name at times as well. It is such an emotionally charged word for many. I am glad you were able to bite your tongue and realize what she needs and not worry about what 'dad' thinks he needs. Will be praying for grace for you as well.

  2. I know how hard you tried with her! Maybe she needs to call you that, maybe it has helped her settle in. Though I know if I were in his shoes it would hurt to hear it. Tough stuff.