sad news... not getting hopes up

our case worker is finally be more open w/ us

no details (protect privacy) but reunification... while the goal... may not happen.

so sad for bears, scary for us....

i've been daydreaming about being a one child family and having time to sleep again.

but know if it happened - we would do it...

all three of them...

wanting to talk to case worker next month that once they FINISH the TPR process and move into the adoption process... we want big brother to come to us...

scary

sad

such beautiful kids and i feel like there is a minimal fight going on for them....

on an unrelated side note... still in motel from the toilet flood of 2011

crisis mode

stress... no one likes it...

i feel like we have been functioning on crisis mode for months... since getting bubba....

he came

we had just gotten used to him and he to us... and he left

we had 9 days off (only 3 or so at home)

and the bears came....

we are still getting used to them...

i have started one of the most stressful "begininning of school year" ever in my 13 years since i've started this job....

and then...

the toilet flood...

so glad to have people of GOD in our life and supporting us...

i love our peeps...

just want a break from the crises!!!!!!!!!

splish splash

how much damage can a $5 toilet part do???

we are still waiting to find out...

my hubby came home yesterday to find almost our entire house under an inch of water... not a tragedy... but definitely set up for MAJOR inconvenience.

blessed to have friends and family who turned out to help us get set up...

soon to come..

how to deal w/ "emergency" situations w/ foster kiddies

i hate tuesdays... aka visitation sucks

wish i had more time to blog

but...

just to say - we are still here and so are our kids

and

visitation sucks

men in uniform

most girls get a thrill from men in uniform

not momma bear

we were in sonny's after church today and a group of police officers were seated near by

she became visibly upset and wanted to be held and to see baby

this is when a foster parent has to pay attention to surroundings!

it would have been easy to blow it off as typical restaurant behavior... and maybe it was

it also may have been the fact the last time she saw police officers was most likely when she was removed from her home

it was so hard to see her panicking, she has felt safe with us and in that moment she felt at risk.

i should be happy

baby bear went on a picnic (aka visitation) today

momma bear is getting over sickness which involves nasty symptoms so not good for the hour commute they take... so she stayed home

the transporter is awesome (more informative than the cw, bummed we won't see her when we go back to work)

ANYWAY... transporter told us that dad loves the notes and is so greatful...

then she said - some people just need a wake-up call, he is getting it together.

i am happy... i know it's best for them to go home... it's not happening soon and i will enjoy them for now... but they will go home

brother bear is in a new placement... they don't sound like our type of fosterparent... praying for him - praying i'm wrong, praying our cw gets it together so we can get him out... we've asked to take him on a mini-vacation w/ us... but hope to spend time with him first!

one of the worst things to say to a foster parent

"it'll be so hard when they leave"

we heard four or five variations of this yesterday... and i heard it four or five times today...

yes, it'll be hard

no it doesn't help to hear it constantly...

it's not nice to continually remind someone of an impending loss...

would you continually tell someone, man when xxx dies, it'll suck?

i know it's not the same... but never seeing them again... not knowing where they will be... yes it will be hard... yes, we need to keep it a reality in our mind...

i just don't want to think about it ALL THE TIME!!!!!!

bletch!

266 - 277

266. crazy hand-me down bathing suits for yard play

267. crazy flower jammies on sale for my favorite peekaboo partner

268. rigatoni - the most she has eaten w/ us --- noodles easier to grasp

269. this awesome pony at our local consignment for our lil' girl who tries to ride the arms of our chairs



270. minivan deal... grateful for a friend of the family who is a dealer!

271. playmat for baby... who is starting to grab with aim!

272. dirty feet... girl feet!

273. mom and sis who love my babies and swim with them... so i can have just a few moments to myself

274. mom with a pool

275. dresses off ebay

276. play clothes for $2 at walmart

277. long over due progress made on our addition