blunt reminder

no matter how much we love these little bears....

they are NOT OURS

we've been playing and goofing around, taking trips going to disney... having people tell us how cute our kids are..

got a call tonight that they will go to visit dad tomorrow.

details that are bubbling in my chest that i can't divulge...

i hope and pray they are able to be reunified. but i feel my prayers are half-hearted.

hoping tomorrow goes well... hoping the little bears get to see brother bear... hoping that a GAL (guardian ad litem) gets appointed that will push for sibling visits more often.

what is especially hard is that our little bee is heads over heels in love with baby bear... constantly tells us how much he loves him and that "he says big brover and hi to me"...

praying for strength, guidance, and a good visit

the art of juggling

have you ever watched someone juggling?

the thought that oh crap, they'll drop something... especially when they bring out the fragile items or really heavy stuff...

have you ever tried juggling... i mean seriously tried - given it more than the 10 - 15 minute attempt?

me neither... i don't like dropping things...

so... 3 kids - two people - each w/ 2 hands - SHOULD have a hand left over... nope - LOTS of juggling going on in this house right now

GOD in his providence knew we couldn't have handled this last year... i keep thanking him for making us wait...

we LOVE baby bear and momma bear (we're hooked on these kids in a big way - post to follow on thought on that!)

but it is HARD... not the same hard we had w/ bubba... who liked to throw monster fits, and anything he could set his hands on. he was into everything, except us.

momma bear is infatuated w/ chef hubby (and the feeling is def, mutual) and she likes to be my shadow... this is no big deal...

i dreamed of having another baby in my life... and this little guy (6 weeks old y'all) is more than i dared to dream of. i have a baby again. sweet, snuggly, fall asleep on you baby.

but i also have an active 20 month old to chase... and a 5 year old who would occasionally like some attention.

ok - sis - if you are reading this stop now... diaper and toilet talk ahead!

i was telling a friend tonight that sometimes i feel like all i do is change poopie diapers.

i TOTALLY forgot how much newborns poop. oh my lanta!

he sleeps, when he wakes up - we change him (super wet usually) then bottle... then half way through bottle that awful noise i had forgotten.... the newborn liquid gurgling pooing sound... ugh.

and the smell... he is on formula (um... yeah - before any random finder of this blog forgets - THEY ARE FOSTER KIDS ---- NO BREASTFEEDING THEM!) and blech - the stink of formula poops...

i recently found myself going to the bathroom, while changing a diaper, and having hubbie knock on door to pass me the next one... at someone else's house

JUGGLING

i have gone two or three days (and they have only been here four) and realized at the end of the day i've only eaten 2 meals.... a late breakfast and dinner.

i'm sure we'll hit the groove eventually... but praying it comes soon. hoping to enjoy some of the summer i have left (less than a month!)

the sick part of this... as tired as i am... i love it... <3

baby bear and momma bear - placement #2 kids 2 and 3

1030 last night (almost 24 hours ago!) we got the call

and w/ in 3 hours - 2 sweet children entered our home

baby bear is 1 mo' old lil boy who still fits in preemie clothes

momma bear is his protective big sister, all of 20 mo's old

still recovering from the shock...

still missing bubba...

but having a blast!