i am not one for subtlety
i am not one to catch a hint
HE knows this
doors do not shut on opportunities they SLAM shut
if i had been in the never never land of secondary infertility i would have tons of excuses continually to ever start fostering - so, GOD slammed the door shut on my being able to birth a second child the old fashioned way....
i think we are having another door slammed...
the door to the bears....
since the random getting to see them - no texts... no pictures... i called to set up the visit - and it fell through...
praying i get to see them for a few moments the saturday before christmas so i can give the family their gifts... and to soak the sight of them in just one... more... time
praying my boy can see them again... have told them that we MIGHT get to see them but that parents could change their minds... now that i think the parents have changed their minds... my heart breaks...
i feel like they have just left all over again... but i can't shake it...
the grief is physical... my stomach constantly hurts... just on this side of nauseous for the past 48 hours since the thought of this door being slammed came to me...
i know that this will be what we need to eventually move forward and make room in our lives and hearts for new children...
but for now... i grieve the loss of the relationship i had so hoped for
i am not one to catch a hint
HE knows this
doors do not shut on opportunities they SLAM shut
if i had been in the never never land of secondary infertility i would have tons of excuses continually to ever start fostering - so, GOD slammed the door shut on my being able to birth a second child the old fashioned way....
i think we are having another door slammed...
the door to the bears....
since the random getting to see them - no texts... no pictures... i called to set up the visit - and it fell through...
praying i get to see them for a few moments the saturday before christmas so i can give the family their gifts... and to soak the sight of them in just one... more... time
praying my boy can see them again... have told them that we MIGHT get to see them but that parents could change their minds... now that i think the parents have changed their minds... my heart breaks...
i feel like they have just left all over again... but i can't shake it...
the grief is physical... my stomach constantly hurts... just on this side of nauseous for the past 48 hours since the thought of this door being slammed came to me...
i know that this will be what we need to eventually move forward and make room in our lives and hearts for new children...
but for now... i grieve the loss of the relationship i had so hoped for
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