fragile moments

(just found this in the dusty archives)

i have had this beautiful magnolia teacup... i never drank tea out of it though... it reminds me of my oldest and dearest friend... 20 years this woman has put up with me, through the dramas of high school, the ups and downs of some interesting life events... from standing next to each other during our wedding vows, to helping me pump during the hazy times following bees birth, to playdates at SeaWorld

our friendship has hit the back burner in the past years b/c of work and babies...

just recently (don't let the pumpkin in the background fool you - it's january and it sits in our kitchen still... more on that another time) i dusted off this teacup to use it in a daily way - to light a candle to freshen our home, and to remind me to pray for her... good intentions...

today i was trying a trick to get the wax out (freeze cup and the wax will pop right out) and in my clumsy way... i dropped it --- i couldn't have been more thoughtful or careful as i pulled it out of the freezer... and smash - it fell to the hard tile floor...

i stared at the shards spread over our kitchen floor - and kept saying --- i will not cry i will not cry i will not cry.... i searched for thankful joy... and in the daily struggle i CHOSE to find thanks --- that the saucer matches the teacup i use most often... and that i know even though babies and work have come between us in the years...

our friendship can be picked up and dusted off right where we left off... and it is not as fragile as a teacup on a tile floor

***THEN***


***NOW***

she was so happy here

i wish i could post the pictures...

i am working on LAST year's scrapbook and just finished through June 2012...

as i preview it before ordering it (i'm a loyal company of shutterfly/mixbook companies) one thing hits me...

she had  has an awesome smile...

she was so happy here...

and while it is a dull ache in my heart as i see her picture over and over... i can rest in that... in what could have been a suckIER situation... she was happy and loved... and she will know that somewhere in the corners of her heart even if we never see her again...

blond piggytails bouncing throughout the book and that smile with the chipped tooth in the front...

Still here...

All is quiet. Only call for respite in a while was when we were out of town. Did get a call seeing if we wanted to pick up a newborn. If it was midJune may have said yes.

Waiting game different this time. Excited but know how much work it is.