hippity hoppity

prepping my big boy's basket tonight and getting a bit reminiscent...

this time last year, i was prepping 3 lil' kid baskets...

that will never be again (we will NOT do 3 again)...

missing the babies tons...

the package we sent them should have arrived today... no word...

praying they are fine...

Turning right, wishing it were left

As we drive across the state.... we pass a sign.

Turn right for in laws
Turn left for babies' town
Van turns right
I feel my heart pull left

Still no word

This Easter will be so different from last year.

over?

sent another text today (thinking MAYBE their phones had been turned off - wanted to give them the chance)

low key - hey we'll be in the neighborhood - can we come by...

still no word...

thinking it's really over... but the last time i thought that - we got to see them...

more at peace with it b/c the last time we saw my sweet babes - i soaked it in --- looked in their faces and thought that it could be it...

we got to give them christmas gifts... going to mail a small package of clothes i bought...

figure we will still send postcards occasionally...

whether or not they ever contact us - i still love them...

sigh...

My favorite kind

So we got a call for a set of brothers for the night. Older than usual, but I could tell the worker was desperate. Said yes. Cleaned house in tizzy 2 hours later they call... Found another placement that could keep them long term. That's my favorite - say yes even though I don't want to, get house straightened up like it should be anyway, be help, but still get to sleep in on my first day of spring break :)

betrayal?

i have my screen set on my phone...

it's me and her...

i can't bring myself to change the picture...

but some day there will be a new baby...

feel like it's betrayal to take her picture off

the weird things of foster care!

no word

2 weeks ago i texted...

they said we could always stop by whenever...

but now no word...

had offered to stop by this Saturday to see the babes --- maybe drop off some easter bunny gifts...

no word...

a few days later before hitting a big sale... texted for sizes...

silence...

still no word...

last time they spontaneously texted us was in january...

last picture sent... was in december...

so much for the promise we could stick around...

praying they are well... praying they remember us and our love but don't feel as if we've abandoned them...

missing them in the quiet times...

Baby for a night

Had the tiniest lil babe for 10 hours

It always amazes me how small they can be

Was reminded how sweet (and sleepless) a baby in the house can be

final pages

finally got off my hiney to finish up scrapbooks from last year...

about to upload the pictures from last month the babies were here...

so weird... hit a snag... small technical issue that will be easy to fix, at the same time i want to just "STOP FOR NOW"...

i know i need to finish it... but it'll be so final to do the last page. to write out why they will no longer be in the book. yay they went home - part of the plan... but so final...

need to finish... doesn't help that i'm sickie w/ a funk that's been rotating around our county...

wondering if the missing them will lessen once we open our home to more long term babes???? or if maybe we'll at least be too busy to miss them so actively...

snooping around

couldn't resist --- snooped around on some social media sites... know a few names of friends etc... stumbled across happy smiling pix of the kids taken just this week...

relief in seeing many of the things we purchased for them in the pictures or in the background... had been warned they could pawn them.... they haven't

four months have passed and it feels like yesterday... and years ago our house was full of noise...

glad my snoopiness paid off in positives...